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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Hot Hot Hot!

And smoky to boot! But as we all know, I'm an Alaska kid with thick blood so I'll whine minimally about this as I sit under the A/C awaiting the house to cool this evening enough to turn them off and plug in the window fans.

I'm sorry I've been slacking on writing here, but today I have a subject. I responded to someone's online post and received an email in return regarding my "advice" on break ups. Relax, I'm not breaking up but I didn't realize that some viewed me as sagely in this department. Not sure if I want to consider the fallout of those opinions yet but I thought I'd share my thoughts on the process.

I've only been through a couple "large" break ups. And by large I don't mean that they were Krakow like volcanic eruptions, but they were the ending of multi-year relationships that shake a person down to their core. Their core, you say? Y-E-S, their core. When you have spent so much time wrapping your life around another's your own core tends to start leaning towards them, and when you suddenly tear that away, you have nerves left raw and exposed. Due to this, we have some grieving/mourning and healing to do before we are able to move on in our lives.

And due to this, along the way I discovered that I have a few "rules" I've fell into while in this process myself.

1. Have that night out with your friends where you drink and bitch. If you need to, even get a bit skunked, but that's it. Stop with the alcohol and anything else you do that might be a downer. If you continue in this because it feels good, you're going to become that bitter bitch that sits by themselves at the end of the bar griping about the wrongs you've been done that no one likes hanging out with, Not only is the alcohol a factor, but the mindset this puts you into is.

2. Don't be that person that gripes about the ex at every turn. No one likes that person. Yeah yeah, poor you. I've got news for you, it took two to get into that relationship, and two to screw it all to hell. That sounds harsh, because it is. It's especially harsh when something dawns on you and you realize what a raging @$$hole you were and that maybe your role as victim isn't as all encompassing as you thought it was. Believe me, I've had plenty of these epiphanies, and they suck. They suck even more when you realize you're repeating the behavior.

3. Don't stay at home moping. Get out! Get in the fresh air and breathe deeply and relax. Go for a walk, run, or just find reasons to be away from the house. I found myself taking a good book to a favorite restaurant for a bite to eat before heading to a movie. It was just time to be away from the house. You're going to find the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll be, and the happier you'll be, and others gravitate towards happy people.

4. Don't jump right into dating or another relationship. I think this is the most important thing right here. You just tore you're life apart and are on your own again. I've noticed how after a relationship, especially if I tried throwing myself into it to make it work, I've lost site of who I am as a person on my own. I've forgotten some of my favorite past times, and more importantly, I've forgotten I'm not the horrid bastard they think I am and that I actually like me. So, I take the time to relearn who I am. Not only have I lost site of me, but through the transformation of single person, dating person, couplehood then being single again, I've changed. You can't go through all that and not, and I need to take the time to relearn who I am. I can't go into another relationship and expect it to work if I don't know who that is in the mirror and what they'll put up with and won't.

This last step is where that whole learning from our mistakes comes in, and recognizing our role in that last break up, because I promise you, you had a role in it. If you were waking up every day and interacting with the other person, you had a role in how things happened. It's easy to feel wronged, it's so much harder to realize that you may have made someone else feel wronged. But a successful relationship won't happen unless you work on being more self aware, and aware of your role in the next one.

The only other advice I have is, have hope. Shit happens and I hope if being a part of a couple is a goal for you, you find the other person that makes it work for you. Be happy as much as possible for like I said, people gravitate towards happy people. I always ended up in relationships when I reached that phase where I was comfortable with me, and happy being single.

I by no means am a relationship guru, but was asked to put this out there. They are the rules that worked for me. Maybe they might work for another. Mind you, they're not rules to find happiness with another, they're rules to recover after a break up and find happiness with yourself.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

In My Absence

We've been as busy as this little bee...
And I hear what you're thinking. You're sitting there thinking I've just been slacking on blogging. But truly, we've been on the road. "What?" I hear you exclaim, "You took a trip and didn't tell us?" That's right. I've always had a bit of break in paranoia, and to be honest, I've had some experiences that have just reinforced what I already thought was a healthy dose of it. Just ask Bob, he gets really pissed when he finds doors locked behind him. So, I never announce to the grand and far reaching world of the internet that we're leaving. It's just a thing. So, if I'm gone for more than a couple of weeks and I'm not slacking, assume we're traveling, and as much as I love my 9 faithful readers, I don't feel the need to blog as I go. So sorry.

So, back on track, I do come bearing gifts. And in gifts, I mean pictures of our fun times. We met my friend Stefani in Salt Lake again, and shot straight down for a nights stay and a couple hikes in Zion National Park.
I truly love Zion, and could only wish that I am able to capture it's beauty better with my camera. The first picture with the bee is also in Zion as you head up the canyon on the riverside trail. After a morning of playing at the weeping wall and getting Stefani her first of three Junior Ranger badges for this trip, we boogied on down to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. We left the kids at home this trip (I know, what misery!) so we could do more of the sites and hikes. It was fun, but after three days I really start jonesing for my kids. I have to have my fur therapy time or I find myself getting a bit needy and more than a bit edgy. But let's face it, leaving them at home was a better option than last years debacle of 4 vomiting dogs on a 14 hour run home. They had a good sitter and were in great spirits on our return home tonight. After a good river romp in clouds of mosquito's and a snack they're in sleeping with Bob as I play with my pictures and type this out.

At the Canyon I met up with an old friend the Smarmy Raven

Made new ones with some California Condors.

As well as saw my first ever Great Blue Heron.
And, the Canyon was of course beautiful too.
A Little Panoramic Shot for you.

We even took a flat water trip from the Glen Canyon Dam to Lee's Ferry. I unfortunately didn't take the big camera with me out of fear that I may ruin it. That was a completely misguided fear and truly wish that I had taken it. As you can see from the heron picture, it's picture ability just wasn't as great. The Desert Big Horn pictures from a beach in the canyon aren't even worth showing.

But while we were on the river (Becky with Colorado River Discovery was an amazing guide by the way) we did get to see Horse Shoe Bend from below.
And later from above.
I really dig the wide angle lens I bought Bob for his camera...
And while we were on that beach I was speaking of, I tried to talk Stefani into taking a dip with me, (The river was a balmy 47 degrees. Reminded me of learning to swim with currents in Katchemak Bay.) we saw this little guy at the Petroglyphs.
I had a friend tell me how different the north rim is from the south rim, and was amazed in the ecosystem difference that was apparent from last years trip to the north rim. As much as I love big smoky scented pine forests and the sound of wind through their needles, I can also enjoy the beauty in a more arid environment, if not always the heat.

From the Grand Canyon we looped back north to Bryce Canyon National Park.

I had once again been fighting the "foot" battle with blisters on this trip. I think much of it is due to temperatures and sweating since when I was younger doing long distance races and backpack trips never seemed to cause this much issue. Despite this and being in sandals to give my feet a break, upon seeing "Wall Street" I just had to go down into it.

And it was worth it. The colors on the walls that were striking from above, just glowed from within the HooDoo's themselves.
Many of my pictures didn't come out due to being in the dark shooting into the light, but it was worth it. On a side note however, just because someone runs their dogs occasionally on the mountain at 6000+ feet, does not mean they should run back up to the lookout point at 8000 feet in 90degree heat, especially if this fool forgot their inhaler at home. Just a little tip for others that might suffer occasional bout s of acute transient stupidity.

Also. should anyone be thinking of a trip to Bryce, you MUST stop at the Pine's Restaurant on the way into Bryce to the west. AMAZING food, great service and pies to die for. I had decided to cheat on my diet the night before we left the Grand Canyon and Stefani said she wanted steak. So we stopped at a "steak house" in Tusayan. For 3 it was a hundred dollar meal that sucked. From the moment we walked in the door and the hostess couldn't be bothered to open her mouth to speak up, to the waiter that could barely speak or understand english to the food itself was an amazing disappointment. Luckily, it was so bad, I pretty much only ate the meat and what salad I could fish out of the ranch dressing so overall didn't cheat much. The following night we decided to be bad and stayed in a hotel where we could shower and asked the front desk about the mexican place we saw on the way in that Stefani wanted to try. We were steered away from it and towards the Pines, and let me tell you, it was so worth it. Not only was the service wonderful, but the food was phenomenal (okay, so we were starving from a day of driving and hiking) but we also ordered desert, Stefani got an extra loaf of bread and I ordered an extra side of their amazing pickles to go and with the great tip I gave Toni the waitress, it all still tallied less than the previous nights dinner only menu. I even was able to get a breadless/carbless meal and the veggies were steamed to perfection. Okay, so I was bad and split a piece of pie with Stefani. I'm afraid to weight myself since we left but other than that, I've been darn good and feel skinnier. I have another week before I have to face the official weigh in. I hope to make it a good one.

And I know what you're all thinking. Isn't this typically a knitting blog? Yes, yes it is.

I got another bag done. The other two are at the yarn store on display for the class and I keep needing one for other things so I made a third. With the one I'll be making for class, this will give me four good grocery sacks.
Blogger simply must have this one sideways... Who knows.
Also, I made a little more dent in the Kimono Shawl I'm making with my handspun Jacob. I just seem to be bored with it but my goal is to get it done before the RMMWK Retreat next month.

Okay, I have to head back to work tomorrow night, so you most likely won't hear from me for a few days, but I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and get out there and enjoy yourselves!