What's a stress ball? I think I am.
I have never felt like I am overly stressed before. I have felt run down, tired, and at times angry, but never overly stressed. Maybe it's a sign of maturing that I let the anger go, but it's left me with just the overwhelming stress lately, and I'm sick of it.
Quite literally I think. I have had a couple health issues this last week, and it dawned on me as I lay sweating like a pig in bed last night that I think I'm doing a lot of it to myself. Now, I think there is really something join ton and I'm being seen by a doc, but I don't think I'm helping it.
What's stressing me? Well, a lot of things, many that I haven;t brought up here. Some of them are personal, like any american, some are financial. Some professionally, and some are professionally but not mine. And obviously, some are medical, which leads to the financial. See the looping?
The guy even noted the other night that he hadn't seen me work on any knitting, spinning, or weaving. And he's right. I haven't. I can't seem to relax enough to sit and do it. And since that is one of my greatest stress relievers, what does that say?
So, here I am. No pictures, just saying, "I'm stressed" in hopes that realizing it, stating it, and owning it allows me to take a deep breath and relax a bit tonight so I can get some real sleep.
Today, was a crazy day. I am finished with structured training. For those who don't know, I changed jobs. I am working as a call taker for 911 dispatch, and I so don't feel ready for it. Can you spot one of my stressors? I have even been dreaming of it. To throw in that we have some serious ambiguity as to our future here in Casper...
This is my plan. I'm going to warm up with some warm mint tea. I'm join got spin for a bit, then I'm going to take a hot shower and go to bed. Fingers crossed. It always looks better in the morning, no?
Thanks for e-listening. I'm sorry about the vagueness. Part of it is due to some issues aren't mine to share. Part is due because I don't have answers to share. And another large part I simply can't share yet until I know more. It's that damn reclusive streak in me. But soon, I hope to have some semblance of a grasp on my idea of how the world should turn and be able to fill in some big blanks.
PS: I will work on getting some more pictures! Maybe if we feet good snow I can get doe kids our snowshoeing on Friday of the world stops spinning so fast (seriously, I'm having vertigo issues).