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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Wine/Whine with friends can fix most anything

Or at least make you laugh a bit, sometimes cry a bit(not this time, I swear! Jenny and Alena are lying) and in general be able to see that it's not quite as important as you thought it was. I find watching the world news does that last one for me too.

Last night was knit night. For you non-knitters, this differs from most nights for me because a group of us gather, knit together, cuss together, and in general have a good time. Last night had plenty of funny fodder now that we had a couple bottles of wine, good fiber, and a gathering of souls who have sarcastic dark little hearts.

On this note, they had brought up the text I had sent out the night previous regarding Thomas LaCock. If you don't know about this, let's just say a gentleman was interviewed for the ten o'clock news and had the misfortune of that for his name. I regrettably would have been one of those pre-teens that would have harassed him had I known him and we were friends enough by wandering around with a fake Spanish accent saying loudly in crowds of people who barely know me, "Ave you seeen La Cock? Where iz La Cock? Ah, si, 'e iz in my pantz," Yes, regrettably I was one of those kids, because I always felt it was fair play after all the kids ribbed me for my name, or if they were harassing some shy kid who wouldn't speak up, I'd step in. No one was truly safe. No one. Just ask my 8th grade algebra teacher. Mrs Roses, I am still sorry.

Well, as we were leaving last night, Alena came up with a great usage for our new favorite term, LaCock. All you guys out there who have important guys in your lives... Yes, us parntered gay guys in case I lost anyone. You know that moment when it's kind of awkward in certain settings to introduce or speak of your partner and you feel they need a title? Yep, you got it... We now say, "Robert, This is Jessica and Martin. She's my boss and her husband. Jessica, Martin, this is Robert. He's my LaCock". I swear, it will make things a breeze. If they're conservative, they will probably not say a word and be quickly thinking in their heads, 'Did he say LaCock? Is that some kind of relative? Are they French? I must have misheard him, he seems to nice to say the C word like that. I'll ask Martin/Jessica later what he really said. I wish people wouldn't speak so fast.' Or if they're liberal they'll probably laugh heartily and assist in the spreading of new favorite title. Because that is now our jobs. Please, help me in throwing this little title into random conversations.

See, if I were back home I wouldn't ask for assistance because I lived in a city that had many transients on their way to other places and I would have used that little linguistic hub to spread my evil. But now I live in Casper. It's a bit of a black hole. People tend to stay here or escape with terminal velocity as soon as they can crest the event horizon. Therefore I have no hope of Casper WY becoming a linguistic hub that can fling my naughty little sense of humor across the world. But I will try!

As you can see, much better mood today. This is why I knit. had I not gone and hung out last night, I would still be fuming today. It's proof. Fiber Heals. While we're spreading little terms, lets work on "Fiber Heals" too. I should even make bumper stickers for that one! It's not dirty at all, and I feel that public forums such as bumper stickers, radio airwaves and posters should try to keep away from such things. I know... we all have an inner right wing. Even me. It probably has something to do with raising two little brothers and having the youngest ask me in a restaurant if the waiter was a pedophile when he was just a wee lad.

Oh, one final thought for the day...
Yes, that's right. Even the landscape in Utah is against the conservatives...

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